So if I told you this is what I said to my 10 year old this morning on the way to school, I might seem like a parent who pushes their kids. Makes them feel like they need to strive to stand out.
It wasn’t my intention. When we sat in the car together as we have done many times before, he asked me if he should go to university? He said other people did, so he should. He was worried he wouldn’t be able to cope with it. I mean, bare in mind he’s only 10 and about to start High school in September, he still avoids tying his own shoe laces but he’s already aware of what he thinks is expected of him. I suppose it’s worth saying that he already has a different way of seeing the world and manages it as well as he can with a processing disorder.
I thought about it for a bit while he chattered on and then a feeling came over me. It wasn’t duty or expectation that I thought of, but him as a person. His life ahead of him and how important this conversation could be.
A few seconds later I found myself quietly telling him to listen carefully to his own thoughts. To really understand the things he loves and follow those. That whatever he chooses, do it with strength and meaning and help people along the way if you can. Make a difference in the ways you know how. Smile, bring joy, don’t let other people’s journeys form your own. Go with your heart and your mind will follow. Be kind, be yourself and most of all, whatever it is you find yourself doing, make it remarkable. I told him that everyone was unique and that he was special.
His little 10 year old legs skipped down the lane to school full of joy and relief and for just a few minutes I thought, this parenting thing is pretty incredible. I might have cried a bit.
I so hope some of it will stay with him, even though I know that by now something else shiny will have taken his interest! We can only do our best too.. I’m just very grateful that I have the freedom and opportunity to teach him a different way.
4 years ago we shot this little film of Logan. Be you my boy. Always be you.